Miscellany

To myself, 6 months from now

I will be heading back to work part-time in a couple of weeks, after being on maternity leave for 12 months. To be honest, I’m quite anxious about it. I know from past experience that it is a big adjustment returning to work from extended leave.  A lot can change in a workplace over the course of 12 months, and I know for a fact that a lot HAS changed at my work and in my own specific role. It’s easy to get swept up in all the projects, priorities and bureaucracy all over again, and I do tend to invest a lot of mental energy and time in my work, even when I’m not there.

So, after this past 12 months of taking life slowly, enjoying my family and the simpler things, seeking inspiration, and indulging in my own interests and self-care, these are some things I want myself to remember if I find I am becoming consumed by work:

i am capable

I am capable, I am worthy

Sometimes I feel like I can’t match up to others at work, because I don’t have a degree.  But I need to remember that I have skills, experience, and natural abilities, and they are worth something.

I am confident, my opinions matter

Kind of related to the point above.  Sometimes I have held back on voicing my opinion, because of the fear that what I have to say is stupid or not important, only to have someone else raise the same point later on and be praised for it.  I’m smarter than I give myself credit for.

I am in control of my own destiny

If I want something to change, I’m the only one who can change it.  And I CAN change it.

Work is just work

Bigger picture here.  I tend to catastrophise when I’m feeling stressed.  But one thing I have learnt over this past year of slowing down, is the art of stopping and trying to see the situation logically before jumping to my instinctive response of panic and frustration.  The world isn’t going to stop turning if something goes wrong or if I have too much on my plate.  I just need to do my best, and at the end of the day when I step out of the office, leave work there where it belongs.

I am grateful for all I have

In today’s climate, I’m just grateful that I have a job.  One that pays me well, provides me with excellent conditions, and grants me the flexibility I need as a working mum of small children.  Double bonus that my job is pretty interesting too, and I work with some wonderful people.

The most important thing in my life is the love of my family

No matter what happens, I already have the greatest achievement of my life – my family.  You can’t do better than that.  As long as we’re happy, we’re doing ok.

Life isn’t over

Over the past few months, whenever I’ve remembered that work is looming, my heart has sunk.  I won’t be having any more babies, I won’t ever have this time again.  It feels like the end of an era.  And it is, that’s true.  But there is so much more to come.  We have so much more life to look forward to.  And I’m only going back part-time initially, so I’ll still have plenty of dedicated time to spend with the kids.

I’m sure I’ll cry on my first day back.  I can’t imagine not having Little R by my side all day every day.  But I’m trying to look at the positives of returning to work.  Like – no one screaming in my face (one would hope anyway), alone time in the car to listen to my music really loud, time to read my book over an uninterrupted and quiet lunch, adult conversation, etc.  I guess it’s what you make it!  Wish me luck!

Joining in with the Weekend Rewind at Life, Love & Hiccups

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15 thoughts on “To myself, 6 months from now

  1. I love your I am capable I am worthy point. That resonated with me so much. Thanks for sharing your thoughts… great list to ponder. Be kind to yourself and try to enjoy your days at work. x

  2. I returned to work last September after a year’s mat leave, and also found it hard. That was more than likely my last ever maternity leave…..I’ll miss it!! I work part-time and find it hard, but I try to look for the positives, like the alone time and adult conversation that you mention. Good luck with a new beginning!

    • Thanks Laney. It’s funny, I know that I’m not alone, and that it’s not the end of the world, but this will be my last mat leave as well, and it DOES feel like it’s the end of the world! I suppose it will eventually just become my new normal.

  3. It was always so daunting returning back to work after the babies, but I did find that it didn’t matter in the end. I was still so focused on the kids that I would get in there, do the most efficiently good job I had the head space for and get out again. So, all the ‘me’ I used to invest in work was no longer for work, which meant I loosened up considerably and was a better worker as a result. I hope the same is true for you!!! x

  4. Pingback: Chasing the feeling |

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